6. Support for you the carer > Intimacy and relationships

Intimacy and relationships

3) Emotional issues

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  • Fear Problem The person may fear having another stroke if they have sex. TRUE Solution Many stroke patients will have this fear but it is important to put this into perspective. It is very rareto have a further stroke during sex . Blood pressure only rises to the same extent as it would when taking mild exercise such as walking up stairs.
  • Anxiety Problem Anxiety can affect resuming intimacy TRUE There may be many reasons why either of you could be anxious. Your partner may worry about changes in physical appearance since the stroke. You may worry that they are not well enough to resume intimacy. Try to express to each other how you are feeling. Some of your anxieties may be easily resolved
  • Depression. Problem Mood can have a negative effect on the persons libido or sex drive. TRUE Solution If this is a problem for you or your partner seek help from your doctor. Depression is common after stroke and can be successfully treated in a variety of ways.
  • Emotional changes associated with body image.Problem Body image is not affected by stroke. FALSE Solution If the person is not confident about how they look or feel as a person following stroke try to talk about this. You can reassure them that you still love the person they are and help them to do the facial exercises or help them with their hair, shave or make up etc.to boost confidence.
  • Embarrassment. Problem Embarrassment can be a barrier to communication between you and your partner..TRUE Solution Reluctance to express how either are feeling may be a reason for avoidance. You could both be trying to avoid hurting each others feelings but at the same time wishing the other person would say something to start the conversation.Your Stroke nurse may be able to start to approach this with both of you if you are not sure what to say.
  • Low self confidence. Problem It takes time to feel confident again after a stroke TRUE Solution Many people after stroke are adjusting to the stroke and its effects and will need time to build up confidence again.You can encourage this by giving them real examples of how they have improved and how they are still improving. Be patient. and reassuring.
  • Libido /Sex drive Problem Everyone who has a stroke will have the same sex drive as they did before. FALSE Solution. On rare occasions after stroke the person may become dis-inhibited and demanding sex inappropriately because of a damaged area of brain. If this happens they will need to seek professional medical help. Sometimes other factors such as fatigue, confidence or body image can lower a persons sex drive. Equally now you are in a caring role you may feel different too. Talking and working out what you both want is a good start.

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  • Fear Problem The person may fear having another stroke if they have sex. TRUE Solution Many stroke patients will have this fear but it is important to put this into perspective. It is very rareto have a further stroke during sex . Blood pressure only rises to the same extent as it would when taking mild exercise such as walking up stairs.
  • Anxiety Problem Anxiety can affect resuming intimacy  TRUE There may be many reasons why either of you could  be anxious. Your partner may worry about changes in physical appearance since the stroke. You may worry that they are not well enough to resume intimacy. Try to express to each other how you are feeling. Some of your anxieties may be easily resolved
  • Depression. Problem Mood can have a negative effect on the persons libido or sex drive. TRUE Solution If this is a problem for you or your partner seek help from your doctor. Depression is common after stroke and can be successfully treated in a variety of ways.
  • Emotional changes associated with body image.Problem Body image is not affected by stroke. FALSE Solution If the person is not confident about how they look or feel as a person following stroke try to talk about this. You can reassure them that you still love the person they are and help them to do the facial exercises or help them with their hair, shave or make up etc.to boost confidence.
  • Embarrassment. Problem Embarrassment can be a barrier to communication between you and your partner..TRUE Solution Reluctance to express how either are feeling may be a reason for avoidance. You could both be trying to avoid hurting each others feelings but at the same time wishing the other person would say something to start the conversation.Your Stroke nurse may be able to start to approach this with both of you if you are not sure what to say.
  • Low  self confidence. Problem It takes time to feel confident again after a stroke TRUE Solution Many people after stroke are adjusting to the stroke and its effects and will need time to build up confidence  again.You can encourage this by giving them real examples of how they have improved and how they are still improving. Be patient. and reassuring.
  • Libido /Sex drive Problem Everyone who has a stroke will have the same sex drive as they did before. FALSE Solution. On rare occasions after stroke the person may become dis-inhibited and demanding sex inappropriately because of a damaged area of brain. If this happens they will need to seek professional medical help. Sometimes other factors  such as fatigue, confidence or body image can lower a persons sex drive. Equally now you are in a caring role you may feel different too. Talking and working out what you both want is a good start.